Dr. Ruth Westheimer died at her New York City home, surrounded by family. She is survived by her children, Joel and Miriam, and four grandchildren.
Dr. Ruth Westheimer, the petite sex therapist who transformed into a cultural icon, media personality, and best-selling author through her candid discussions on once-taboo bedroom subjects, has passed away at the age of 96.
Westheimer died on Friday at her New York City home, surrounded by family, as confirmed by her publicist and friend, Pierre Lehu.
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Renowned for promoting open dialogues about sexual matters rather than endorsing risky sexual behavior, Westheimer’s central message was that there was no shame in discussing sex.
“I still hold old-fashioned values and I’m a bit of a square,” she told students at Michigan City High School in 2002. “Sex is a private art and a private matter. But still, it is a subject we must talk about.”
Her distinctive giggly voice with a German accent, coupled with her 4-foot-7 stature, made her an unexpected yet effective advocate for “sexual literacy.” This unique combination was key to her appeal.
Her extensive knowledge, humor, and nonjudgmental approach propelled her local radio show, “Sexually Speaking,” to national fame in the early 1980s. She always maintained a nonjudgmental stance on the consensual activities of adults in their private lives.
“Tell him you’re not going to initiate,” she advised a caller in June 1982. “Tell him that Dr. Ruth Westheimer said that you’re not going to die if he doesn’t have sex for one week.”
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The success of her radio show led to the publication of her first of more than 40 books in 1983, “Dr. Ruth’s Guide to Good Sex,” which combined rationality and humor to demystify sex. She even launched a board game, Dr. Ruth’s Game of Good Sex.
Dr. Ruth Westheimer soon became a staple on late-night TV talk shows, bringing her personality to a wider audience. Her rise to fame coincided with the early days of the AIDS epidemic, when open discussions about sex became crucial.
“If we could bring about talking about sexual activity the way we talk about diet — the way we talk about food — without it having this kind of connotation that there’s something not right about it, then we would be a step further. But we have to do it with good taste,” she told Johnny Carson in 1982.
She normalized the use of terms like “penis” and “vagina” on radio and TV, aided by her grandmotherly accent, which The Wall Street Journal described as “a cross between Henry Kissinger and Minnie Mouse.” She was listed among People magazine’s “The Most Intriguing People of the Century” and even referenced in a Shania Twain song.
Dr. Ruth Westheimer was a staunch advocate for abortion rights, suggested seniors have sex after a good night’s sleep, and championed condom use and monogamy.
In the 1980s, she supported gay men during the AIDS crisis and was a vocal advocate for the LGBTQ community. She often cited her own past as a reason for defending marginalized groups.
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About Dr. Ruth Westheimer
Born Karola Ruth Seigel in Frankfurt, Germany, in 1928, Westheimer was an only child. Her parents sent her to Switzerland at age 10 to escape the Nazi pogrom Kristallnacht. She never saw her parents again, as they were believed to have perished in Auschwitz.
At 16, she moved to Palestine, joined the Haganah, and trained as a sniper. She survived a bomb attack that left her severely wounded but credited a skilled surgeon with her recovery.
Dr. Ruth Westheimer married her first husband, an Israeli soldier, in 1950 and moved to Paris to study psychology at the Sorbonne. After divorcing in 1955, she moved to New York with her second husband, with whom she had a daughter, Miriam.
In 1961, after another divorce, she met Manfred Westheimer, a fellow Nazi Germany refugee. They married and had a son, Joel. They were married for 36 years until his death in 1997.
After earning a doctorate in education from Columbia University, Westheimer taught at Lehman College in the Bronx, focusing on sex education. Realizing she needed more expertise in sex, she studied under renowned sex therapist Dr. Helen Singer Kaplan, which solidified her career path.
Her radio show went national in 1984, followed by her television program, “The Dr. Ruth Show,” which won an Ace Award. She also wrote a syndicated advice column and appeared in videos produced by Playboy.
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Throughout her career, Westheimer faced criticism from conservative voices, including Phyllis Schlafly and Father Edwin O’Brien, but she continued to advocate for open, honest discussions about sex.
Dr. Ruth Westheimer appeared on various talk shows and played herself in TV episodes, authored books like “Sex for Dummies,” and was the subject of the 2019 documentary “Ask Dr Ruth.”
Even while in the public eye, she remained committed to teaching at prestigious institutions and maintained a private practice.
Dr. Ruth Westheimer received numerous honors, including an honorary doctorate from Hebrew Union College-Institute of Religion and the Ellis Island Medal of Honor.
Ryan White, director of “Ask Dr Ruth,” highlighted her lifelong advocacy for gay rights and family planning, noting her consistent support for marginalized groups.
She is survived by her children, Joel and Miriam, and four grandchildren.